If only Cameron Diaz were my middle school teacher, I actually might have gone to class.
Director Jake Kasdan’s black comedy Bad Teacher is a story of Elizabeth Halsey, a lazy, pot smoking, gold digging teacher played by Cameron Diaz who wants nothing more than to find a rich husband and never work again.
Diaz wears scandalous, short, tight skirts and sleeps during class while the students watch movies. Like I said, I wish she were my teacher. She is only teaching to save money for a boob job so she can land a wealthy husband. Diaz lands a few one liners but doesn’t have much to work with with such a weak script.
Jason Segel plays the gym teacher who is always trying to score a date with Diaz despite being rejected every time. Segel did a great job…playing the same character we see him play in all of his movies. And it’s pretty obvious what’s going to happen between him and Cameron Diaz in the film.
The story follows the classic romantic comedy storyline where the lead female falls for the wrong guy when the right guy is in the middle school gym right down the hall.
Haven’t you guys seen that movie before? Geez.
Justin Timberlake plays a sexy (duh), dimwitted substitute teacher who also has a ton of family money. Unfortunately, Timberlake’s performance didn’t impress me as much as his skits on SNL. However there are a couple of very funny scenes with JT and Jason Segel where Segel is being a complete jerk but Timberlake is oblivious to the whole thing. And I can’t forget about the dry humping scene. That could be a good thing or a bad thing.
The goody two shoes teacher across the hall played by Lucy Punch stole scenes away from the big named actors. She plays Amy Squirrel who never swears, takes her job way too seriously and had a serious unknown meltdown in 2008. She is the counterpart to Diaz’s character and the two battle it out to win Timberlake’s heart as well as getting the bonus at the end of the year.
For a movie that threw around the F-Bomb a lot, showed some female breasts, had drugs and alcohol, some very provacotive clothing and suggestive conversation topics, I thought the film would be more offensive. One of the themes in the movie was doing the bare minimum just to get by. That’s what I thought the movie did. They scratched the surface with their profanity just enough to get that R rating they were looking for. In order to title a movie “Raunchy”, the film has to hit below the belt.
I guess I’m saying I’m disappointed that the movie didn’t offend me. It’s weird. I know.
Overall I give Bad Teacher 2.5 dunce caps out of 5.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Friday, June 17, 2011
Review: The Green Lantern
What’s sexy, funny and green all over?
That would be Ryan Reynolds, star of the new super hero flick The Green Lantern. If you’re not familiar with the Green Lantern, don’t be ashamed. You’re not the only one. Lemme break it down for you.
Green Lanterns are protectors of the universe. In order to become a green lantern, you must show great responsibility and have no fear. The Green Lanterns make up the Green Lantern Corps on the planet Ungara. Each Green Lantern has a ring and what ever the Green Lanterns imagine they can create through the power of will.
“Then why don’t they call it the Green Rings” you ask? Because each ring is fueled and recharged by a lantern. It’s nerdy, I know.
The story follows Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds), a test pilot who’s got a knack for living on the edge and complete disregard for authority and responsibility. Hals got the classic resume for a soon to be super hero; nerdy best friend, gorgeous childhood sweetheart who he can’t quite get, father who died when he was a kid. It all adds up.
After a disappointing day at work, Hal Jordan is hijacked by a giant flying green bubble that carries him to an alien spacecraft crash site. Here Hal is chosen to take over for the dying Abin Sur, a Green Lantern master who has a slight resemblance to Kelsey Grammer.
Once Hal gets his ring and lantern, it’s crime fighting time!
Well, not really. The story is kind of slow and filled with witty one liners from Mr. Reynolds to keep us entertained. Don’t get me wrong, I though he was very funny in the film, but I didn’t see the movie to laugh, I wanted more epic Green Lantern battles.
Peter Sarsgaard plays Hector Hammond, the outcast scientist who has daddy issues. I thought this character was just wonderful until they gave him a giant head.
I’m serious; they literally made his head huge. It was pretty corny.
Blake Lively showed up as Hals love interest, Carol Ferris. That was pretty much it for her.
The story followed the same guidelines for any super hero flick. First the Hal doesn’t think he’s right for the job, then he’s got a plan to defeat the villain but wait, the villain has the love interest and the super hero must choose between her and saving the world, then he beats the odds, saves the girl and proves to everyone he’s got the right stuff.
The ending was very anti-climatic and with the film time running just under two hours, I was ready for it to be over.
The Green Lantern gets 2 up, up and a ways out of 5. There was too much CGI and green screen and not enough originality for me. However, the kids will love the film, except maybe for the giant soul eating cloud villain who looks a whole lot like an evil Bob Marley
That would be Ryan Reynolds, star of the new super hero flick The Green Lantern. If you’re not familiar with the Green Lantern, don’t be ashamed. You’re not the only one. Lemme break it down for you.
Green Lanterns are protectors of the universe. In order to become a green lantern, you must show great responsibility and have no fear. The Green Lanterns make up the Green Lantern Corps on the planet Ungara. Each Green Lantern has a ring and what ever the Green Lanterns imagine they can create through the power of will.
“Then why don’t they call it the Green Rings” you ask? Because each ring is fueled and recharged by a lantern. It’s nerdy, I know.
The story follows Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds), a test pilot who’s got a knack for living on the edge and complete disregard for authority and responsibility. Hals got the classic resume for a soon to be super hero; nerdy best friend, gorgeous childhood sweetheart who he can’t quite get, father who died when he was a kid. It all adds up.
After a disappointing day at work, Hal Jordan is hijacked by a giant flying green bubble that carries him to an alien spacecraft crash site. Here Hal is chosen to take over for the dying Abin Sur, a Green Lantern master who has a slight resemblance to Kelsey Grammer.
Once Hal gets his ring and lantern, it’s crime fighting time!
Well, not really. The story is kind of slow and filled with witty one liners from Mr. Reynolds to keep us entertained. Don’t get me wrong, I though he was very funny in the film, but I didn’t see the movie to laugh, I wanted more epic Green Lantern battles.
Peter Sarsgaard plays Hector Hammond, the outcast scientist who has daddy issues. I thought this character was just wonderful until they gave him a giant head.
I’m serious; they literally made his head huge. It was pretty corny.
Blake Lively showed up as Hals love interest, Carol Ferris. That was pretty much it for her.
The story followed the same guidelines for any super hero flick. First the Hal doesn’t think he’s right for the job, then he’s got a plan to defeat the villain but wait, the villain has the love interest and the super hero must choose between her and saving the world, then he beats the odds, saves the girl and proves to everyone he’s got the right stuff.
The ending was very anti-climatic and with the film time running just under two hours, I was ready for it to be over.
The Green Lantern gets 2 up, up and a ways out of 5. There was too much CGI and green screen and not enough originality for me. However, the kids will love the film, except maybe for the giant soul eating cloud villain who looks a whole lot like an evil Bob Marley
Friday, June 10, 2011
Review: Super 8
Alien movies now a days are a dime a dozen and usually that dime is only worth a penny. But what do you get when the fresh eyes of director and writer J.J. Abrams teams up with the master of extra-terrestrials Steven Spielberg?
A beautiful creation called Super 8.
The movie felt like a tribute to all the Spielberg classics from the past and reminded me a great deal of “Close encounters of the third kind” and “E.T.” with familiar sound effects and suspense from “Jurassic Park” and a pinch of humor and friendship from “The Goonies”.
The film takes place in 1979 and follows a group of kids filming a zombie flick using a super 8 camera- Hey, that’s the name of the movie. A massive train wreck occurs while the kids are shooting a scene next to the railroad tracks and that’s when things start to get a little interesting.
Before you know it the town is filled with U.S. Air Force soldiers who are keeping all information on the matter a secret. The small town has become mayhem with the townspeople running around scared and paranoid. Dogs are running away, electronics of all types have been stolen and the town sheriff has gone missing making Deputy Lamb (Kyle Chandler) the one to figure out this whole mess.
But how do you solve a mystery when you don’t know anything about it? You don’t. You let your son and his friends do it for you.
Deputy Lambs son Joe (Joel Courtney) and his movie making pals who witnessed the accident embark on an adventure of a life time to find their friend, rid the town of a gigantic alien and hopefully finish their zombie film.
Abrams really brought us back to the past with references to the Walkmen and cassette tapes, super 8 camera and film and I can’t help but mention the groovy clothes everyone was wearing. Even the camera angles and close ups made me feel as if I were watching an old Spielberg film.
I think what blew me away most about the film was the acting. Of course Kyle Chandler was great but he usually always is so that’s no surprise but the kids were just so unbelievably talented it’s hard to think they can’t even drive yet. The kids are what made the film seem real. They brought a Goonies like feel to the film through humor and just being themselves.
Just a warning for those parents out there, the film does use profane language, drug references and some graphic violence.
Overall I give Super 8 a super rating of 4.5 et phone homes out of 5. Maybe if John Williams did the music, Super 8 could have gotten a perfect score.
A beautiful creation called Super 8.
The movie felt like a tribute to all the Spielberg classics from the past and reminded me a great deal of “Close encounters of the third kind” and “E.T.” with familiar sound effects and suspense from “Jurassic Park” and a pinch of humor and friendship from “The Goonies”.
The film takes place in 1979 and follows a group of kids filming a zombie flick using a super 8 camera- Hey, that’s the name of the movie. A massive train wreck occurs while the kids are shooting a scene next to the railroad tracks and that’s when things start to get a little interesting.
Before you know it the town is filled with U.S. Air Force soldiers who are keeping all information on the matter a secret. The small town has become mayhem with the townspeople running around scared and paranoid. Dogs are running away, electronics of all types have been stolen and the town sheriff has gone missing making Deputy Lamb (Kyle Chandler) the one to figure out this whole mess.
But how do you solve a mystery when you don’t know anything about it? You don’t. You let your son and his friends do it for you.
Deputy Lambs son Joe (Joel Courtney) and his movie making pals who witnessed the accident embark on an adventure of a life time to find their friend, rid the town of a gigantic alien and hopefully finish their zombie film.
Abrams really brought us back to the past with references to the Walkmen and cassette tapes, super 8 camera and film and I can’t help but mention the groovy clothes everyone was wearing. Even the camera angles and close ups made me feel as if I were watching an old Spielberg film.
I think what blew me away most about the film was the acting. Of course Kyle Chandler was great but he usually always is so that’s no surprise but the kids were just so unbelievably talented it’s hard to think they can’t even drive yet. The kids are what made the film seem real. They brought a Goonies like feel to the film through humor and just being themselves.
Just a warning for those parents out there, the film does use profane language, drug references and some graphic violence.
Overall I give Super 8 a super rating of 4.5 et phone homes out of 5. Maybe if John Williams did the music, Super 8 could have gotten a perfect score.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Review: The Hangover Part 2
It happened again...
That’s right the wolfpack is back and they are not ready to party. But of course they do and can’t remember a single thing about it.
Unfortunately, I feel the story was a little forced as well as Zack Galifaniks character. The awkward and mostly improved dialogue from Galifinakis' character Alan is almost completely gone in the sequel where the pack travels to Thailand for Stu’s wedding.
As we expected the gang gets a little too rowdy and finds themselves in a foreign country with no recollection of how they got there. The film has a lot more cussing and a lot more male gen.
You have been warned.
Don't get me wrong though, I loved the film and couldn't help myself from laughing at all their pain and misfortunes.
Overall I give the hangover part 2, 3 roofies and a mike Tyson tattoo lawsuit out of 5 because even if the story is almost exactly the same as the first, you can’t help but love the wolfpack.
That’s right the wolfpack is back and they are not ready to party. But of course they do and can’t remember a single thing about it.
Unfortunately, I feel the story was a little forced as well as Zack Galifaniks character. The awkward and mostly improved dialogue from Galifinakis' character Alan is almost completely gone in the sequel where the pack travels to Thailand for Stu’s wedding.
As we expected the gang gets a little too rowdy and finds themselves in a foreign country with no recollection of how they got there. The film has a lot more cussing and a lot more male gen.
You have been warned.
Don't get me wrong though, I loved the film and couldn't help myself from laughing at all their pain and misfortunes.
Overall I give the hangover part 2, 3 roofies and a mike Tyson tattoo lawsuit out of 5 because even if the story is almost exactly the same as the first, you can’t help but love the wolfpack.
Review: Kung Fu Panda 2
When i found out i was seeing Kung Fu Panda 2 I was just as excited as any 8 year old would be. The original Kung Fu Panda was such an exciting movie that when I heard they made a sequel I started counting down the days on my calendar.
The film picks up almost right after the first film. Po, also know as the dragon warrior, is now fighting along side the Furious Five voiced by some very big named actors like Angelina Jolie, Lucy Liu, Seth Rogan, Jackie Chan and David cross. I felt that the only member of the furious five that really had any dialogue was Angelina’s character tigress which was a little bit of a disappointment.
Jack Black of course did a tremendous job as the voice of the films main character Po with his quirky and awkward one-liners.
Gary Oldman plays Lord Shen, the villain for Kung fu panda 2. Lord Shen is not as scary or physical as the evil Tai Lung from the first film but he has some deadly tricks up his sleeve.
Ultimately, Kung Fu Panda 2 is a classic who am I story following Po’s journey of soul searching and finding out where he came from. It kept the element of struggle that Po faced in the first film and meshed perfectly with the story of Lord Shen.
There were some beautiful flashbacks made by using paper animation that were probably my favorite part of the movie. The final scene of the film however blew me away and I cannot wait for the third installment.
Yes, they will make another.
Overall I give Kung Fu Panda 2 4 bowls of noodles with a side dish of awesomeness out of 5.
The film picks up almost right after the first film. Po, also know as the dragon warrior, is now fighting along side the Furious Five voiced by some very big named actors like Angelina Jolie, Lucy Liu, Seth Rogan, Jackie Chan and David cross. I felt that the only member of the furious five that really had any dialogue was Angelina’s character tigress which was a little bit of a disappointment.
Jack Black of course did a tremendous job as the voice of the films main character Po with his quirky and awkward one-liners.
Gary Oldman plays Lord Shen, the villain for Kung fu panda 2. Lord Shen is not as scary or physical as the evil Tai Lung from the first film but he has some deadly tricks up his sleeve.
Ultimately, Kung Fu Panda 2 is a classic who am I story following Po’s journey of soul searching and finding out where he came from. It kept the element of struggle that Po faced in the first film and meshed perfectly with the story of Lord Shen.
There were some beautiful flashbacks made by using paper animation that were probably my favorite part of the movie. The final scene of the film however blew me away and I cannot wait for the third installment.
Yes, they will make another.
Overall I give Kung Fu Panda 2 4 bowls of noodles with a side dish of awesomeness out of 5.
Review: Pirates of the Caribbean- On Stranger Tides
This week I shivered me timbers and set sail with everyone’s most beloved pirate Captain Jack Sparrow. That’s right people he is back and ready for action in the fourth installment to the series Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.
Johnny Depp is back with of course another outstanding performance as the witty, clever and sometimes air headed Jack Sparrow. Some other characters you will recognize are Sparrows trusty sidekick Gibbs and of course Sparrows fr-enemy Captain Barbossa played by the magnificent Geoffrey Rush.
Other than that the Pirates film is filled with new faces including Panelope Cruz playing the lovely Angelica, an old love interest of Sparrows in the past, and Ian Mcshane playing a very evil Blackbeard.
The plot of the film is to find the Fountain of Youth. The fountain grants the person who drinks from it immortality. But of course, with every Pirate movie and every adventure Jack Sparrow embarks, there is trouble and twist awaiting. Eventually the movie turns into a race between Spain, Britain, and the Pirates to see who can get to the fountain first.
Along his travels, Jack Sparrow runs into some very interesting characters at sea. Blackbeards ship is crewed by a handful of zombie pirates with skin decay and face piercings. There are also some beautiful mermaids in the film but don’t let them fool you, they’re just as dangerous as the zombies.
Even with the charm of Captain Sparrow, I felt the movie fell short of the last three films. I really missed Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly who brought another element to the films. Who could forget the two goofball pirates who dressed up as females and one kept losing his eyeball? Ello Puppet.
I also saw the film in 3-D. I’m not much of a supporter of 3-D movies especially when there really is no point to having it. This was one of those cases. The film was shot mostly using darker colors and the tint of the 3-D glasses made it very difficult to see. I probably only wore the glasses for 25% of the film so I would recommend seeing it in regular 2-D. there were a few times when a sword or a rope seemed 3-D but other than that, there was no point to it.
Overall I give Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides 2.5 yo ho ho's and a bottle of rum out of 5. The film stayed true to Jack Sparrow, keeping him the same lovable and funny pirate who can escape out of any situation but unfortunately it just wasn't enough me.
Johnny Depp is back with of course another outstanding performance as the witty, clever and sometimes air headed Jack Sparrow. Some other characters you will recognize are Sparrows trusty sidekick Gibbs and of course Sparrows fr-enemy Captain Barbossa played by the magnificent Geoffrey Rush.
Other than that the Pirates film is filled with new faces including Panelope Cruz playing the lovely Angelica, an old love interest of Sparrows in the past, and Ian Mcshane playing a very evil Blackbeard.
The plot of the film is to find the Fountain of Youth. The fountain grants the person who drinks from it immortality. But of course, with every Pirate movie and every adventure Jack Sparrow embarks, there is trouble and twist awaiting. Eventually the movie turns into a race between Spain, Britain, and the Pirates to see who can get to the fountain first.
Along his travels, Jack Sparrow runs into some very interesting characters at sea. Blackbeards ship is crewed by a handful of zombie pirates with skin decay and face piercings. There are also some beautiful mermaids in the film but don’t let them fool you, they’re just as dangerous as the zombies.
Even with the charm of Captain Sparrow, I felt the movie fell short of the last three films. I really missed Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly who brought another element to the films. Who could forget the two goofball pirates who dressed up as females and one kept losing his eyeball? Ello Puppet.
I also saw the film in 3-D. I’m not much of a supporter of 3-D movies especially when there really is no point to having it. This was one of those cases. The film was shot mostly using darker colors and the tint of the 3-D glasses made it very difficult to see. I probably only wore the glasses for 25% of the film so I would recommend seeing it in regular 2-D. there were a few times when a sword or a rope seemed 3-D but other than that, there was no point to it.
Overall I give Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides 2.5 yo ho ho's and a bottle of rum out of 5. The film stayed true to Jack Sparrow, keeping him the same lovable and funny pirate who can escape out of any situation but unfortunately it just wasn't enough me.
Review: Hanna
This week I put on my deer skin jacket, freshened up on my foreign languages and stepped into the fighting shoes of Hanna, an action packed mystery rollercoaster that follows a father and daughter as they run, hide and fight to survive.
Hanna is raised deep in the cold, snowy forest of Finland by her father Erik Hiller. Hiller is an ex-CIA agent in hiding and is training Hanna for the day they both have to fight the past and, as the saying goes in the film, adapt or die.
The film stars Academy Award nominee Saoirse Ronan as the fearless 16-year-old super soldier Hanna and nails the part on the head. It’s easy to love her character not only because is she more deadly than everyone I know put together, you start to sympathize for her when she finally finds a friend and realizes what parts of life she has been missing out on.
Hanna’s father and ex-CIA agent Erik Hiller is played by Eric Bana. I know Bana doesn’t have the best resume in the business but his performance as Hiller truly beautiful. He brings such passion and emotion to the character it feels less and less like I’m watching him act. In some scenes you can see the physical and emotional stress that his character is going through. I must say, well done Mr. Bana.
Academy Award winner Cate Blanchett plays Marissa Wiegler who is out to hunt and kill Hanna and Erik Hiller. I thought Blanchetts part was merely ok. Blanchett has acted in much more demanding roles like in the film “Elizabeth” where she portrays Queen Elizabeth that her role in Hanna just didn’t impress me. Honestly, I enjoyed watching her sidekicks more than I did her.
Director Joe Wright did a superb job putting together a strong supporting cast which included a flamboyant hit man, an oddball family friend who lives in an abandoned amusement park and a traveling family of free spirits with a daughter Sophie who brings some wonderful comedic relief.
Wright, who also directed the film Atonement which starred the young Saoirse Ronan, used a lot of creative and artistic camera angles and techniques. There are two separate fight scenes that are done in one long continuous shot that doesn’t cut away which blew me away. During a conversation between Hanna and Sophie, Wright uses camera angles and close-ups on the actress’ eyes, lips and skin which bring beauty and intimacy to the scene. He also plays around with lighting to make the fights and chase scenes seem faster and more hectic.
If you couldn’t already tell that I’m in love with this movie, I haven’t even gotten to my favorite part yet. The music. The film features an outstanding original score composed by The Chemical Brothers which brings a light and happy overtone to some of the darker scenes yet the music is comparable to techno and helps keep the pace of the movie fast and almost chaotic. Noise is also used to collaborate with the music. Scenes will start out with noises which then turn into a song. The use of music, sound and noise changes the feeling of the film entirely.
Overall I give Hanna 3.5 techno beats out of 4 because of its great story, acting and the production as a whole. I just ordered a copy of the soundtrack and I can’t wait to see the film again.
Hanna is raised deep in the cold, snowy forest of Finland by her father Erik Hiller. Hiller is an ex-CIA agent in hiding and is training Hanna for the day they both have to fight the past and, as the saying goes in the film, adapt or die.
The film stars Academy Award nominee Saoirse Ronan as the fearless 16-year-old super soldier Hanna and nails the part on the head. It’s easy to love her character not only because is she more deadly than everyone I know put together, you start to sympathize for her when she finally finds a friend and realizes what parts of life she has been missing out on.
Hanna’s father and ex-CIA agent Erik Hiller is played by Eric Bana. I know Bana doesn’t have the best resume in the business but his performance as Hiller truly beautiful. He brings such passion and emotion to the character it feels less and less like I’m watching him act. In some scenes you can see the physical and emotional stress that his character is going through. I must say, well done Mr. Bana.
Academy Award winner Cate Blanchett plays Marissa Wiegler who is out to hunt and kill Hanna and Erik Hiller. I thought Blanchetts part was merely ok. Blanchett has acted in much more demanding roles like in the film “Elizabeth” where she portrays Queen Elizabeth that her role in Hanna just didn’t impress me. Honestly, I enjoyed watching her sidekicks more than I did her.
Director Joe Wright did a superb job putting together a strong supporting cast which included a flamboyant hit man, an oddball family friend who lives in an abandoned amusement park and a traveling family of free spirits with a daughter Sophie who brings some wonderful comedic relief.
Wright, who also directed the film Atonement which starred the young Saoirse Ronan, used a lot of creative and artistic camera angles and techniques. There are two separate fight scenes that are done in one long continuous shot that doesn’t cut away which blew me away. During a conversation between Hanna and Sophie, Wright uses camera angles and close-ups on the actress’ eyes, lips and skin which bring beauty and intimacy to the scene. He also plays around with lighting to make the fights and chase scenes seem faster and more hectic.
If you couldn’t already tell that I’m in love with this movie, I haven’t even gotten to my favorite part yet. The music. The film features an outstanding original score composed by The Chemical Brothers which brings a light and happy overtone to some of the darker scenes yet the music is comparable to techno and helps keep the pace of the movie fast and almost chaotic. Noise is also used to collaborate with the music. Scenes will start out with noises which then turn into a song. The use of music, sound and noise changes the feeling of the film entirely.
Overall I give Hanna 3.5 techno beats out of 4 because of its great story, acting and the production as a whole. I just ordered a copy of the soundtrack and I can’t wait to see the film again.
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